It’s Ok to Say No

Sometimes it’s ok to say no.  Sometimes you feel like you have to say no and sometimes you feel like you can’t say no.  But saying no can be good for your health.

Facing burnout is a very real thing.  And it can be very damaging for your mind and our body.  In a past post, I wrote about the differences between between America and other countries when it comes to stress.  What was interesting to me was that other countries seem to have very different lifestyles.  They have more time off, they actually eat lunch without looking at a computer screen and they eat very differently.  All of this adds up to a healthier lifestyle.  But what I did not see in any of my research was information on saying no.

Saying no is hard.  It’s not a fun thing to do.  You might have FOMO (fear of missing out) when you say no.  But it’s something that, if done regularly and mindfully, will help you live a life that has much lower stress levels.  This year has been my year of saying no.  Yup, it’s true.  Last year was my year of saying yes and it caused a lot of issues.  I learned in April that I had to start saying no or I would be burnout almost all the time.  Since I started, I’ve learned a few things.  I’ve learned that you might upset people, that you might lose a friend or two, that you might cause a riff with your family and that you might feel guilty.  But I also learned that saying no can be freeing.  Because saying no has helped me live with less stress, I’ve come up with some tips to help you feel ok with saying no.

1. Remember what YOU want!

By keeping your priorities in mind, you won’t have that guilt surrounding saying no.  If you have an event to go to or a project to work on or even just need to do laundry and get an invite, don’t feel bad saying no.  Because you’re saying no in order to make room for your own personal yes.

2. Don’t be afraid

For most people, we are afraid to say no because we don’t want to hurt someone else’s feelings or we don’t want to look like we’re a bad person.  Sometimes we have to do what scares us most in order to feel ourselves.  Saying no might be something that scares you so much, but by saying it more and more, it will become easier.

3. Ask yourself “What am I saying no to?”

By asking this question, you’ll be able to get down to the nitty gritty of what you’ve been asked to do or invited to.  You’ll figure out if it’s really important to you to say yes or if you can live with saying no.  And you’ll learn what is really important to you.

4. Know that you’ll find your tribe

By saying no, you actually find out not only what’s import in your life, but you’ll also find out who is important in your life.  When you say no, you may find you offend people or make people mad.  Most of the time, they’re mad because they don’t understand your situation.  Those that you say no to but still are ok with it won’t be mad because they do understand.  And you will find out, those people are in your tribe.

5. Fake it until you make it

In the beginning, saying no is going to be hard.  It’s not easy because you’re not used to it.  You’re not confident with using the word no.  I say fake it until you make it!  And this goes for anything.  If you’re not comfortable, do it anyway.  If you’re scared, do it anyway!  The more you try something, the more it will become easier.

Trust me, saying no is not easy.  I’ve said this a number of times already, but it’s true!  Saying no is something that is scary, but it can also be very freeing too.  Saying no can help you with a lot of things.  So here’s my challenge.

I dare you to say no at least 7 times in the next week – one for each day of the week.  

Yup, at least 7 times.  Next Sunday do a self-check.  How did you do?  If you only said no 5 times, don’t beat yourself up.  Heck, if you only said no 3 times, definitely don’t beat yourself up.  But continue the practice and don’t give up.  Make sure to get back to me next week on your challenge.  I want to hear all about it!

Confessions of an Emotional Eater

Have you ever been stressed and just want your favorite cheat food?  For me, it’s sweets that I crave.  Like chocolate or cookies.  For others, it might be something salty, like chips, or crunchy like pretzels.  And if you go even further, it might be an adult beverage.  Here’s my question to you…when you get stressed, what do you do?

For me, I usually eat…and I eat poorly.  My cravings vary too.  Sometimes I just want to eat everything in sight whileother days, I just need that one bite.  When it’s bad, it’s really bad.  Anything can set me off when I have these bad days.  It can be meetings all days at work, no

t being productive at all because of the ebb and flow of the day or even something as simple as the wind blowing my hair the wrong way.

When I have one of these days, I always want to grab that bottle of wine and pour myself one glass.  Instead, I try to have a better plan.  Something like doing a little school work, reading a book or getting my workout in.  And I don’t get too down on myself if I have one glass of wine while I do the better task.  Why?  Because it’s all about balance.

The moral of my story is that no matter how stressed you get, no matter how much life gets you down, always remember that you are on a journey and there will be peaks and valleys.  Try to stick to your plan as much as possible but don’t beat yourselfup if you decide to have a treat once in a while.  You can have your cake and eat it too…just watch out for how big your slice is.

Are you an emotional eater too?  What’s your go-to food or beverage when you get like this?  Put yourself out there by commenting below.  I promise you, it will help you relieve some stress just by typing it out.

Welcome!

Welcome to Just Live Mindfully – a place to come if you’re looking to learn how to live the healthy, happy life you are meant to live.  My name is Jenn Mullen and I am the owner of Just Live Mindfully.  I am a foodie, a fitness fanatic, a tomboy that has turned into a girly girl who loves all things fashion and a passionate woman looking to help others learn others with their health and wellness needs.

Health and wellness is not just about fitness and nutrition.  It involves all aspects of life – relationships with others, the career you have, what you believe in and yes, it does include physical activity.  Throughout my life, I always thought health and wellness was just about eating extremely well and being physically active every single day.  I had no idea that health and wellness involved laughing every day, having positive relationships with the people around you (“your tribe”) and living a life you design.  Now that I have learned this, my life has improved exponentially.

As Just Live Mindfully grows, my wish is that I am able to inspire and motivate people to be happy, healthy and live a life they have designed.  I hope you will join me on this journey and change the world along side me.